The Real Me

by Jeremy Flower

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credits

released January 8, 2016

The Ensemble:

Carla Kihlstedt – Vocals, Violin
Jeremy Flower – Vocals, Guitar, Keyboards
Jon Evans – Bass
Matthias Bossi – Drums, Percussion, Vocals
Abby Swidler – Viola
Emily Hope Price, Elizabeth Schultze – Cello
Jeremy Udden – Saxophones
Alex Sopp – Flute, Piccolo
Sam Sadigursky – Clarinets
Louis Schwadron – French Horn
Ryan Keberle, Brian Drye – Trombone

Produced by Jeremy Flower, Jon Evans, and Joel Hamilton

Recorded by Jon Evans at Brick Hill, Orleans MA and Joel Hamilton at Studio G, Brooklyn NY

Mixed by Joel Hamilton
Assistant engineer: Francisco Botero, Mike Jinno.
Mixed at Studio G Brooklyn
Mastered by Matt Agoglia
Design by Michael Savona

Special Thanks: Elisa, Sam, Ari, Osvaldo Golijov, Jon Evans, Arnold and Maggie Bossi, Joel Hamilton, the Studio G staff, Frank and Mona Kelly, the Flowers, and everyone who lent their energy to this project in any way

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Track Name: Take
Rough waters come, rough waters go
Wade to the shore, nobody knows
When death comes, we all fall to pieces
Struggle to give, struggle to take

But no other love, a big mistake
Lie to her face, poison the well

Sit back and watch her mind release
No voice from me, never at peace

Bad comes to worse, worse comes to worst
Tear it apart, cut to me first

When endings come we fall to pieces

Sit back and watch her love release
Nothing for me, not in the least

Don’t take my baby
Don’t take her from me
Don’t take her away
Track Name: The Real Me
Pack it up, pack it up
leave your things behind you
brace the rails
hoist the sails come find you

Winter’s deep, little sleep
and I stoop to kiss you
slap my face
leave this place, I miss you.

Will it last, will it last
if this is how I treat you
where will I be when your dreams come true

See the world, steal the world
leave a mark so they know me
own it all, big and small
will it show me

Back at home, back at home
will she be waiting for me
try my luck sailing on the sea.

When I’m gone, feeling strong
with the wind behind me
can it be that I've found the real me
will it last, will it last
if this is how I treat you
for all my love I can hardly see you

Where will I be, where will I be
when your dreams come true

In the rain, in the rain
please think fondly of me
coming home
but the life has left me.
Track Name: The Loneliest Number
The number twelve
must get so lonely
The people leave
before saying hello

They made it this far
can’t they have a little faith
Scared of what might
await them at the next door

Then when they find
the number one for them
Do any hear what
says the number twelve

Don’t let the superstition
keep you from falling
Just kiss me once
before our time is done
Track Name: Ichabod
Now I’m on fire
bound to this journey
I forget nothing

The paint starts to peel
mountains become sand
Earth forever changing

We were never wanting

And It bleeds across the sky
we have lost all contact

I’ll tell you a story
of a million little lies
would you believe them if I try?

“I’ll be just fine.”
“It’s a blessing in disguise.”
“I will not resign.”

Hopes falling down
carve this bitter taste
of loss on your tongue
picture my face

And it bleeds across the sky
we have lost all contact

Hope can be redrawn
glory is gone
Track Name: Along the Banks
I live here on the banks
of a cyclical river
no water here to be found
waves of gold and silver

I live here in shadows
of a house for the mad
it’s halls were ripe with deceit
but it’s all they thought they had

I live here in the smoke
of an age’s hope lost
where once was deep interest
now there’s just the diesel exhaust

It’s all on fire
the scraps of our life
the days have passed
this river runs underground
Track Name: As October Becomes
Past the warm sunny weather
long nights and the
sleep never comes

Still and warm I’m waiting for you
silent rain where I stand

Cast away, catching nothing
brushed off like a fly
in the sun

Nothing there
there’s nothing here
I wait my turn

Then days go by
then years go by
we’re older

As October becomes part of you
remember the lover in me

Fast asleep and I’m watching
just wait, touching
some other night

Still and warm I’m waiting for you
silent rain where I stand
Track Name: Keep the Lights On
Prayed for rain and I’m swimming home
With no restraint we’ll all turn to stone
Another dinner date we can’t afford to miss
Another couple years suspended in this bliss

Keep the lights on for me
A story I’ve yet to read

And when the wisdom catches up to our disease
I’ll be the first one sleeping underneath the seas

Prayed for sun and I’m melting fast
The party’s done, wasn’t meant to last
And you can hear the people laughing all night long
Like distant battles always singing the same song

Keep the lights on for me
A story I’ve yet to read

And when the wisdom catches up to our disease
Our fading breath will muster just a gentle breeze

When we were content
we had all we could want
but now I can’t forget
what it’s like to breathe
pretend my heart beats again
but you just can’t let go
Track Name: Blow Up
We live here inside this little box
among all the wiring
among all the memory
and all the wasted time

Take it back and we’re staring at the walls
and all the evidence
and all the fingerprints
and it proves we wasted time

Oh well

We don’t care if it kills us we’re immune
to all the guilty looks
and all the photo books
and all the wasted time

Blow up, blown out
All night, it’s alright
Track Name: My Dove
Blindly drink from the cup
living well a shirt on my back
crack the riddle
I’m on track
to see my dove

Pine for easier times
hope and pray they soon will appear
run away and hide
come here
to touch my dove

Watch me climb to the top
on shoulders sore, years underfed
I will watch TV
in bed
I’m not in love

Fly away my dove
the treasure that you leave
keeps millions in their place
my dove

Living a filthy rich life
teasing me with something new
If I was half
as pure as you
the walls come down
Track Name: This Paradise
Holding out for hope
positive, never doubt
I’m caught up in fantasy
possible, to be without

Simply try to let go
careless, live the dream
All my love, All my love

It’s warm in this house
and though the wind’s picking up
A child fast asleep
warm drinks and plenty of cups
why waste this paradise
this life

Looking for my mistakes
communicate, don’t understand
the minutes apart grow long
passable, gets out of hand

Finding some common ground
Wary of fading out
Hold my hand, a passing fad

It’s warm in this house
and though the wind’s picking up
a child fast asleep
warm drinks and plenty of cups
why waste this paradise
this life
this paradise

Now do you see the way?
I give to you
this paradise
Track Name: Stay With Me
Now I see
Leave the rest to me

Never leave
Coming down to see
Leave the rest to me

Sit and rest somewhere
Sit and stare

Stay with me
Track Name: Longing In the Tooth
We’re walking along foggy streets
with nothing around but the heat
Older by the breath
Oh, to be our best

And every town tells us a tale
of heavy hearts losses on sale
Craving mystery
From hasty trips to sea

Come weather the storm with us
we’ll tell you the truth if you must
Have you any proof
We’re longing in the tooth

Leave all your nostalgia in haste
bring only the memories you taste
We’ll circumvent the maze
And give you back your days

And when our long journey is through
we hope your desires pure and true
The curtains start to close
And everybody knows

Did happiness visit with you?
fulfillment say “How do you do?”
This is not a fight
But don’t forget to write
Track Name: There Can Be No Expectation of Success
That's where I'm coming from
No real prospects
Could be I'm a lover
Without a heart
Oh, it quit at the start

Lower my standards
Don't disappoint
Could be I'm a sinking ship
In an empty sea
Oh, I'll try 'til I'm free
Track Name: False Comfort
Don’t you lose sleep my dear
it all comes out just fine
close your eyes and rest
and dream of coming tides

Laughing becomes a smile
and then just a sheepish grin
the weight on your eyes a must
but when did it begin